Sitting in her bath tonight, Sophie started singing a song that I can only assume she learned from the older boys at daycare:
A B C D E F G kiss my booootteeee
H I J K kiss my boooottiiee
Q R S, T U V my boooty W X Y and Z.
Now I know my A, B, C, next time won’t you sing with my big girls’ underpants?
At each “my bootie”, she thrust out her tiny toddler butt and slapped it. Really. I am not making this up. I am only uncertain whether the phrase in between the letters was “kiss my booty” or “kick my booty” — mostly because I suspect that Sophie herself is unsure of the difference.
Now I suspect that Ideal Mom would have had some strategy to encourage this premature singing of the alphabet while simultaneously discouraging that premature sexualization. But I’m not Ideal Mom. I’m me, and my reaction, honestly, was to laugh out loud.
Sophie has been singing the alphabet for a week or so now, but she usually skips QRS and TUV. I’m proud of her for singing all the letters all at once. I think that maybe I should be offended at her addition of booty-thrusting to the alphabet song, but wouldn’t that just encourage her? I suspect I should ignore any two-year-old who says “my booty,” but, at that moment during bathtime, I didn’t have the willpower not to laugh.
I’m afraid that I am Immature Mom.
The only consolation prize is that, maybe, knowing that I laugh at so many things, Sophie will soon stop thinking that “my booty” is an interesting song lyric.