Mother’s Day

I spent my first mother’s day alone, just me & Sophie. Ben has a great excuse: he was at his own mother’s college graduation. When I say to Sophie, “Hooray for Grandma Josie!” she actually applauds. It’s very cute.

I had thought I wouldn’t mind being alone on mother’s day. I know that it was originally a pacifist holiday about empowering women worldwide; I know that it has been coopted by Hallmark & the flower industry; and I know that I deserve to be recognized & appreciated every day of the year, not just mother’s day.  Still, I missed Ben today.

Maybe that’s because it was my fifth day alone with Sophie since Ben left, and being a single mother (even temporarily) is hard. Today, there was a moment when Sophie was overly-hungry and needed a diaper change and was dripping sand since we’d just come back from the park, while the voracious colony of ants that periodically invades our house had just discovered her high-chair, and I desperately just wanted a drink of water. Fortunately, I mostly laughed, and got everyone fed & watered & mostly clean & mostly ant-free as soon as I could, and then took Sophie & me out to the yard to stand under the wind-chimes so we could both find some calm.

Yesterday, Sophie discovered how to walk while holding both my hands. Today, Sophie discovered how to walk while holding only one hand. She’s so impressive.

But she misses her dad, and has started waking up at night again, for the first time in a month.

Today, Sophie pedaled her ride-on toy over to our next-door-neighbors (okay, I pushed a little), because they have a flatter paved area in their yard, surrounded by the most wonderfully fragrant flowers: sweetpea, honeysuckle, and many varieties of roses. They reveled in Sophie’s smiles, and gave me so many flowers that it fills three of my small vases – and it’s strange how much I appreciated getting a bouquet on mother’s day.

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